Sometimes you just need to fly

My sister-in-law Frances just called. Her precious mama died on Saturday night and she wanted to talk to me. We talked about the funeral plans and how we both loved the litergy in the Episcopal Church. Then we cried. We cried when we talked about how special mama's are and in particular our mamas. We talked about how thankful we were that we were able to spend so much time with our mamas near the end of their lives. We laughed about our grief and how it would be so nice if the grief would announce itself. "Ellen, you will be overwhelmed in 10 minutes by a round of grief, get ready." It doesn't and most times you are blind-sided.

I read this article this weekend and then KimT sent it to me so I knew it was good. Here is the whole article.

http://online.worldmag.com/2009/02/23/is-sorrow-a-sin/

Here is one part that meant lots to me.

“It’s like my wife is calling me from the cockpit,” a friend once explained, “and my instinct is to help her land the plane. But then she gets mad and says I don’t listen. I’m only trying to help solve her problem. It took me a long time to figure out that sometimes she just needs to fly around up there for a while.”
Sometimes when my wife talks to me about a struggle, I’ll ask if she’s looking for help landing the plane or if she needs to fly around. In other words, does she want help fixing a problem or does she want someone to just listen and commiserate? I used to think it solely a male tendency, this instinct for classifying things as problems and then setting about finding solutions to them. But in my wife’s friendships I’m seeing that women are by no means immune to this temptation.

Frances and I just flew the plane.

Green Grass

I have a cold, no I have a BAD COLD. I am to the point that my mama would say it is a fresh cold- fever, running nose, watering eyes, cough and then my nose gets stopped up. I had it on Friday and I rested lots in the motel in Nashville over the weekend but it came on with a vengeance once we got home.

Today Marisa restocked my supply of caffeine-free Pepsi and brought me a cherry slushy from Sonic. I am not really hungry but I know I need to keep drinking.

I read a great book yesterday that I'll blog on soon. Today I'm almost through another.

How different to be sick as a mostly empty nester. This is the first time that I can remember that I have been sick and I don't have to push myself to keep going. I remember one time that Carl had to leave on a trip when I had the flu and so did 2 of the children. You just suck it up and do what you have to do.

I've just mostly been sitting. I haven't taken anyone to soccer or ballet or had to grade papers or settle an argument... but I also haven't had a hair combing or lotion on my feet or lots of day time TLC.

How I longed for the days when I could just be sick and just take care of me. Now I'm there but what I'd really like is for Andrew to be home and put lotion on my feet, Kaitlin to not go to class but stay home and comb my hair and John to sit by me and hold my hand and say "There's healing in touch, mama "

I guess what they say about that grass is really true.

Cruella DeVille, you left your coat in the elevator

I am sitting at the desk in our motel room in Nashville. "Why are you in Nashville?" You may ask and I would say that we are at a Rocky Mountain School of Photography weekend. RMSP is a school based in Montana. Our Friend, Jim Nowell, attends many of their workshops and recommended them to Kaitlin. During the winter months they offer weekend classes in different cities around the US. We picked Nashville because we could get here and home in a weekend.

Classes started Saturday morning at 8 and went til 4. This morning they started at 9 and we plan to leave at 12:45 when that class is over. Kaitlin has been to a RMSP weekend before in Birmingham with Aunt Marian. This time she wanted Carl to go with her so he could learn more about the pictures he is taking. They are taking different classes and then sharing what they have learned. The choices for their classes are compostion, basic photography, night shots, lighting, macro- that's all I can remember. I just took some cough medicine see next paragraph.

I am and have been in the motel room. I have a bad cold with a COUGH!!! but I am enjoying reading, writing, looking at my window, and watching ESPN.

When were making plans to come here, we asked Carl if we could stay in the motel where the conference was being held and that is where he made the reservation.

We can go right to INTERESTING to begin to describe this motel. From the outside it doesn't look like a motel that you would say "Hey let's stop there".

As we drove up and Carl went inside to check us in, we noticed that there were sofas outside and lots of folks were sitting on them smoking and having a good time. We could see in the lobby and there is an art display of bra's. One is made out of crayons.

We got into the elevator and it has red and black fur on the walls- something like Cruella DiVille's coat but with red and black and not white and black. In order to get to any floor you had to use your room key in the elevator.

I have a beautiful view of Nashville out my window. The flat screen TV is wonderful and the beds were comfy. On the wall next to the desk where I am sitting is a picture of Barbara Mandrell and her sisters in a dressing room with Minnie Pearl.

Kaitlin has been taking pictures and I'll post some here or send you to her blog when she gets them up.

Carl and Kaitlin are learning lots. Kaitlin comes back from each session and gets her camera out and practices what she has just learned. She can't wait to get home and take some Macro pictures (I don't really know what that is but she and Carl talked about it lots last evening as I was driffing off to sleep)

Faith sent me a facebook message and asked what I was reading. Faith, I am reading Choosing Forgiveness by DeMoss and Hannah Coulter by Berry. Both are great.

Our motel is the Hotel Preston. If you are in the area check out the elevator sometime.

Dog Show Party Recap

We had a good group at our Dog Show party. Don and Betty (former dog show judge, dog owner and handlers) were there, as were Ed and Cathy, Brittany, Jennifer, Liz, Melinda, Jack, Kyle, Darrell, Carl, Kaitlin and yours truly.

Don and Betty are in their 70's and so humble. They answered every question we asked so patiently. They informed us that one of the new breeds for this year- it is in the mastif family- has a life expectancy of 5 years! When they started showing dogs their were 6 groups of dogs with 131 AKC registered breeds. Today they are 7 groups and over 170 breeds. As different handlers would show their dogs or even different judges would come out, Don or Betty would say "Doesn't Eileen look good this year?" or "We've know him since he was 12."

Kyle and Jack didn't get the memo that Don was a former judge. When the first group came out and Don told us which dog was going to win and that dog won- you could have knocked them over with a feather. To say they were stunned would be an understatement. When the second group came out, Don made his prediction and the judge picked Don's choice as second. Kyle, as only a young man with much bravado can say, said " What happened on that pick, Don?" Don calmly looked at Kyle and said " Stupid Judge" We all died laughing.

Don said that the final group of dogs in the ring for Best of Show was the best group he had ever seen. He calmly picked the Sussex and it won.

I think a good time was had by all.

George Eliots old grandfather rode a pony home yesterday!

I got this http://jimspages.com/States.htm from Rocks in my Dryer. It is so much fun! Enjoy


My title is how my mama taught me how to spell Geography. She also taught me A Rude Indian Thought He Might Eat Tobacco In Church. Who spells that out today?

Dog Show

I am pumped for the Dog Show. Monday at 7-8 central on USA, then it is on CNBC from 8-10. Tuesday it is on USA from 7-10. I plan to have a party. Let me know if you plan to join us. The more the merrier.


http://www.todaysthv.com/life/community/pets/story.aspx?storyid=79649&catid=154

Sue, isn't this a dog like yours?

fun photos

http://grasswithers.blogspot.com/2009/02/turn-my-midnights-into-days.html

Here is some beauty to enjoy

I am glad God is in control

http://www.denverpost.com/harsanyi/ci_11638925

http://www.semicolonblog.com/?p=4288

We need to pray for our country.

A friend sticks close

I struggle with showing mercy because once you don't respond the way I think you should, I back off. How sad is that. I read an article by Nancy Wilson about friendships and loved the direction she sent me in.

http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2009/01/31/a-friend-sticks/

Enjoy

to love mercy

I know I have mentioned this book here before but here I go again because another chapter really impacted me. Relationships A Mess Worth Making. It is by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp.

This week I studied the chapter on Mercy. The book defines Mercy as the kind, sympathetic and forgiving treatment of others that works to relieve their distress and cancel their debt or it is the compassion combined with forbearance and action.

Some points from the chapter are

-A commitment to mercy will reveal your own need for mercy
-mercy is not something you feel but something you do
-mercy is needed because we live in the middle of the great redemptive story, the people we live with nor the world we live in are perfect.
-often the great struggle with mercy is its call to relate to people we consider beneath us. We tend to see ourselves as 'rich' and others as 'poor'
-whenever you are involved with people who need mercy, you will be sinned against.
- I need to show mercy because I was shown mercy.
-whenever you extend mercy, you will begin to see how selfish, impatient, unforgiving and inconsistent you can be.

Micah 6:8 He has showed you , O man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

This past weekend Dr Richardson said that when we see a command in scripture we need to realize we are commanded to do things that don't come naturally to us. We are commanded to love mercy.

I highly recommend this book.