Wind Chimes, Grief and my brother, John

Recently I was sitting on a bench outside of an antique store on Tybee Island with my brother, John. We saw these garden ornaments that could be hung outside and when the wind blew them you noticed the sparkle things on them. They were beautiful and gawdy at the same time and my mama would have loved them. I pointed them out to John and he agreed that we would have bought one for mama if she were living. Sitting on that bench the waves of grief found me and almost knocked me down. Just as I was missing my mama so, the wind chimes started ringing. The wind had picked up and the music from the chimes was beautiful. It made me laugh!

I recently found this articles on Grief. You can tell they were written by someone who has been there. There are 6 articles so read to the end of the article and then click on another one.

Grief is hard!

Written in Tears is a wonderful review of a book I plan to buy soon. It was written by a father who lost a daughter. One of my friends is going through the hard, hard work of grief. I thought of her as I read the review. Here are some thoughts from the review that really hit home to me.

I believe that God is good.

I don’t believe that it’s appropriate for you to tell for you to tell me so when my daughter dies.

When my daughter dies, it’s my job to tell you that God is good. Until I can do that, don’t be like Job’s friends. Offer your support, and wait in silence.

Don’t try to make the pain go away. The pain doesn’t go away. Hurt with me.

If you are hurting, I hope this helps you.

If you know someone who is hurting, I hope this helps you help them.

Addie Lou, I love you

11 years ago today, Andrew became an Eagle Scout. When he called me to tell me that his Eagle board of review was over, he said "Mama, we have a reason to look back on this day and be happy."

14 years ago today my mama died.

She was my best friend.

She was my champion.

I was so blest to have her as a mama. I am thankful that I had her for 38 years. I miss her still and I guess I always will. I have come to realize that that is a gift. Some folks don't have a wonderful relationship with their mamas.

I wish she were here to see Kaitlin and her art, to meet Taylor and Marisa, to see Andrew in his job, to see John take care of me, to share in all our jokes and the list goes on and on and on.

Hug your mama today, if you can't hug her, call and tell her you love her. Mamas are special, very special indeed.

Do you know grief?

So I was reading some papers that Kaitlin had and I found what you will read below. I asked Kaitlin where she found this writing because it really hit home to me about the grief. She stopped and smiled and said "Mama, I wrote it." Wow!

The picture is my sweet mama holding my sweet Kaitlin. They are in my cousin, Vicki's den.

Enjoy.

The Art of Losing Isn't Hard To Master death and grief. loss and gone. never to see again. never to be heard again. you can grieve people who aren't dead. you can grieve people you see every day. but you can grieve people who are gone. who you wont hear again. who you wont see. ever. again. i know loss is hard. i have held loss in my hands. i have tasted it with every bite. but i have also had the advantage of losing loved ones. which sounds bad. but it is not. it makes it better some how. better because you know that they love you. better because they didn't chose to leave. because they would have stayed because they love you. seeing death makes you stronger. makes you see things you wouldn't be able to see other wise. not at that moment. you don't think it is then. but then time goes by and you see. you see things you didn't. so in the end you understand. not why they are gone. but some of the whys. about life. i don't wish the taste of death on anyone. but open your eyes. look around. try to see the things you miss. be a friend. be a true friend. show life. live life. live.

When grief is fresh , every attempt to divert only irritates

I am always on the look out for things to read about Grief. I was cleaning off my desk and came across a list that a women's retreat speaker gave on books to help with grief. I ordered Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman. I intended to give it away but this one is staying here. It is written as daily meditations. You can tell this author has gone though grief. In the times of major grief I have gone through in losing my parents and a brother and in lesser times like friendship lost or loss of dreams, I find myself thinking "Am I losing my mind?" " Why can't I remember this?" "Will it ever get any better?" This book shares the author's thoughts on those and so many more questions that I have had. The book also has quotes from some famous and not so famous folks at the beginning of each meditation. Some I enjoyed were, " In search of my mother's garden, I found my own." by Alice Walker, "It is the nature of grace to fill spaces that have been empty" by Goethe

This book is not a Christian book per say. It speaks of a Holy Presence. I would highly recommend it for everyone. If you have been through grief it will offer comfort and if you have not, you can know how others are feeling.