Half-birthday fun!

My sweet mama would have be 87 today.

I picture her in good health and vibrant.  She would have a computer and a cel phone.  She would know how to text.

She loved the state of GA and would love that she had two sons, their wives and a grandson and his wife that lived there too.

Today is also my half-birthday!  I celebrated by watching a show this morning on TV The CBS Sunday Morning show.  My mother loved that show.  I watched it in her honor.

For lunch we had a picnic on the banks of Lake Maumelle just west of our house.  Kaitlin made our sandwiches, packed chips and apples.  Lunch was wonderful and the view was beautiful.

I always miss my mama on this day.  Having a celebration helps

More thoughts on my mama!

I have the daily Mary Engelbreit calendar. Todays thoughts of my mama are brought you to courtesy   of Mary.

My mama so lived this!

My mama gave us a love of books and learning

My mama loved to laugh

This helped me so often because I knew my mama loved me no matter what

My mama was always learning

When I picture my mother today, I realized she is my same age, just like she always has been!

This is for my children.  She loved bathing them in the sink.

I agree with Abraham!

 My mother cultivated happiness her whole life.

A poem, A blog and My Mama

 Eleventary  is blog that I enjoy.  The blogger gives lists of 11 things- anything from food to books to favorite cities.  In the above post he writes about poetry.  He listed poems and authors he believes are a good place to start.

I copied his list.  Some of his poems I knew but many I didn't. I went to find my poetry books.  I paid a friend of mine (Thanks, Hannah) to put all my books in order, what a luxury, so I knew just where to find them.

Aside- When my sweet mama died, my brothers let me have most of her books.  They bring me great comfort.  I love reading words that I know she read.

I found Louis Untermeyer's book.  I don't recall ever looking at this before but I knew it was my mama's.  I opened to find this cartoon.

 And several articles about poets and even a cross made from a Palm Sunday palm that she saved.  I went back to the blog and found many of the poems he mentioned in this book.  What a sweet time I had reading them.  I wonder if my mother read those same poems?  I am choosing to believe she did.

What a wonderful legacy my mama left me.  I plan to read from this book on Mother's Day and savory and enjoy the gifts that she gave me.  I thank God for the wonderful mama he gave me.  When I get sad that I didn't have her longer, I am thankful for all the fun we crammed into the 38 years I had her, some folks don't even have half the fun we did in twice the years.  I am blest.

M is for My Mama

I am reading My Reading Life by Pat Conroy.  I have just read the first two chapters and I am loving it.

Here is a quote from the first chapter... My mother hungered for art, illumination, for some path to lead her to a shining way to call her own. She lit signal fires in the hills for her son to feel and follow.  I tremble with gratitude as I honor her name.  

I feel his gratitude for my precious mama too.  She died 16 years ago today and I am still able to follow the fires that she lit for me.  What a legacy.  I am blest.

Addie Lou, I love you!

Where were you 15 years ago today? It was a Sunday. I was in New Orleans at the SEC basketball tournament. Carl and I went with a group of people from his office. His boss at the time was Bill. Bill was a Mississippi State grad and we got our tickets from him so we sat in the MSU section. MSU won the tourney that year so our section was full of excitement. Our group sat in front of a family that always bought a whole row of tickets minus one. Part of their trip fun was to see if one of their group could pick the occupation of the person who sat 'in that other seat' on their row. They were such a fun and sharing family that we soon learned about this fun tradition. We all were waiting for someone to sit in 'that' seat. He finally arrived. He was a plumber and sure 'nuf someone had picked that occupation. What fun we had!!

I called my mama on Saturday night and told all about my day. How I loved hearing the tennis shoes squeak on the court, how pretty the Kentucky blue was and how fun the crowd was. I also told her the I could hear the calliope from a riverboat when I was in my motel room. How do I remember that I told her all these things? She wrote them down on a note pad she had right by her phone and I found that notepad the next day.

In the wee hours of Sunday morning, my brother, John had the very sad task of calling me to tell me that our sweet and precious mama had died. We knew it could happen at any time but it was still a shock.

She had an aortic aneurysm but couldn't have it operated on because she had COPD. When they finally found what was causing her to be short of breath they gave her 24 months to live. She lived 19 months. I believe she had had the aneurysm for quite awhile so I am thankful for all the time we had her.

Today I plan to spend the day watching basketball. AUBURN plays at noon. I am thankful that it is sunny here today because my grief has been very near this week. Standing in the sun helps. I plan to have fun, comfort food for lunch and supper. In between roundball games I plan to read a new to me D E Stevenson book.

Call your mama today. Tell her you love them.

Do you wad or fold?

My mother was the best. She could fold a fitted sheet so that you couldn't tell in her linen closet which were her flat sheets from her fitted without unfolding just a bit.

Marisa's sister Kaelyn also has the sheet folding gift. She has just moved out so my linen closet looks good now but after a few more loads of sheets it will be back to the wads of sheets unless I master this How to fold a fitted sheet

I think my New Year's resolutions list just got longer.

I must go now and fold a few sheets.

I love you, Addie Lou

Today would have been my sweet and precious mama's birthday. I miss her. I miss sharing life with her. I miss her advice. I miss laughing with her. I miss her point of view, mostly-she was a big democrat :) , I miss her seeing her grandchildren and loving on them.

I walked around my home and took pictures of her things that now live with me. I realized as I was taking these pictures was that mama's things are all over the house.


this lives in John's room
dining room
kitchen
my bathroom
my bedroom
my bedroom window

Kaitlin's room
She gave me this dictionary, hers that is just like this, now lives with my brother, John and his wife, Elaine.
I loved my mama and she loved me. I am realizing more and more that that is rare. I was very blest to be the apple of my mother's eye. She believed in me and the confidence she had is still an encouragement to me today.

I will always miss my mama. I am thankful for the 38 years I had her and that we had such a wonderful time for all those years.

I am pointing for you

“In small and large ways, when we create beauty–in our environment, relationships, music, cooking, poetry, and celebrations–we push back the effects of the Fall and express our hope for the new heaven and new earth that God promises. When we give artful attention to detail, we point people to a truer and better reality. When we offer beauty, we touch something in the human soul."

The author is Andi Ashworth, from her book "Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caring"

This was Andrew's status on facebook and it reminded me of my mother.
Once when I was at my mama's house, not too long before she died, I needed some ibuprofen. When I went to the cabinet where she kept her medicine, I was welcomed by a beautiful vase. I pulled out the vase and asked her why she would keep something so beautiful, put away. Mama told me that every morning, she had to take several medicines. In order to made that easier, she put that beautiful vase up in her medicine cabinet so she would be greeted by beauty every morning.
I always try to keep beauty around my house.
Calendars

a darling angel

a beautiful vase
Even the wash cloths under the sink. I like bright colors.Where is the beauty in your home?

Addie Lou, I love you

11 years ago today, Andrew became an Eagle Scout. When he called me to tell me that his Eagle board of review was over, he said "Mama, we have a reason to look back on this day and be happy."

14 years ago today my mama died.

She was my best friend.

She was my champion.

I was so blest to have her as a mama. I am thankful that I had her for 38 years. I miss her still and I guess I always will. I have come to realize that that is a gift. Some folks don't have a wonderful relationship with their mamas.

I wish she were here to see Kaitlin and her art, to meet Taylor and Marisa, to see Andrew in his job, to see John take care of me, to share in all our jokes and the list goes on and on and on.

Hug your mama today, if you can't hug her, call and tell her you love her. Mamas are special, very special indeed.

Do you know grief?

So I was reading some papers that Kaitlin had and I found what you will read below. I asked Kaitlin where she found this writing because it really hit home to me about the grief. She stopped and smiled and said "Mama, I wrote it." Wow!

The picture is my sweet mama holding my sweet Kaitlin. They are in my cousin, Vicki's den.

Enjoy.

The Art of Losing Isn't Hard To Master death and grief. loss and gone. never to see again. never to be heard again. you can grieve people who aren't dead. you can grieve people you see every day. but you can grieve people who are gone. who you wont hear again. who you wont see. ever. again. i know loss is hard. i have held loss in my hands. i have tasted it with every bite. but i have also had the advantage of losing loved ones. which sounds bad. but it is not. it makes it better some how. better because you know that they love you. better because they didn't chose to leave. because they would have stayed because they love you. seeing death makes you stronger. makes you see things you wouldn't be able to see other wise. not at that moment. you don't think it is then. but then time goes by and you see. you see things you didn't. so in the end you understand. not why they are gone. but some of the whys. about life. i don't wish the taste of death on anyone. but open your eyes. look around. try to see the things you miss. be a friend. be a true friend. show life. live life. live.

Libraries and Mama and Friends

Grief is an interesting thing.

I wish it would announce that it is about to overwhelm you so you could get in a safe place but it doesn't.

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to Not Buy as many books but I know I will still read lots this year, so, I need to go to the library.

The Library.

I love the library and I always have. My mama's water broke with me when she was in the library so my love for the place started at a very early age.

My mother was a librarian all her life with her love of books, reading and all manner of learning. She was employed as one for 10 years of her life too.

I have many of her books. I love reading them and running my hands over them as I pass by the shelf they are on. I don't have them all in one area but all over so that I can see them in every bookcase I have.

Marisa is very patience to listen to stories of my mama and Mama's books bring out many stories.

After Mama died I couldn't got to the library for awhile. It was too hard for me.

With my New Year's Resolution I needed to go back to the library. I've been twice in January. I love my library. It is Southwestern in design, all on one level, not too big but it has a nice 'new book' section. Also, I can get online and have books from all over the system sent to my library.

It was hard going back.

The first time I walked in, I had to walk right back out again- too painful.

I went again yesterday. I had ordered two books: Miss Buncle's Book by DE Stevenson and Leaving Yesterday by Kathryn Cushman. I went in to get them and walk back out if need be. I was able to stay longer. I walked up and down every aisle in the adult section- looking and smelling and just savoring. It was wonderful, like meeting up with an old friend again.

As I got ready to leave, a lady came into the library. She greeted the librarians like old friends and they, her. She talked a minute about the bad weather that was expected here and then she said that most folks stock up on milk and bread during an ice storm but she stocks up on books.

That sounded just like something my mama would have said! I felt so at home.

My books are all 14 day books so I am planning another trip in two weeks, if not sooner. It feels good to be home again.

I think they are mine

Here is a Buckeye Bush. All my growing up, my mother told me, that her daddy told her, that buckeyes were lucky. I never remember seeing a buckeye when we lived in Alabama. When my mama's daddy died, one thing that my mama wanted was his buckeye that he always had with him. That was my first time to see a buckeye. Buckeyes grow all over Arkansas. And although I do not hold to them 'being lucky' they do remind me of my mama. I love the way they grow and the pods open and the buckeyes fall out.
I know the roots are in my neighbors yard but all the buckeyes grow in my yard.
here is what they look like as they are almost ready
here is one just about to spilt open.one of the many reasons I love fall is the buckeyes. Do buckeyes grow where you live?

Addie Lou, I love you

I love calendars. For Christmas each year I ask for and receive usually 7 of them. I have one on my desk that I write down appointments/ birthdays etc and then try to journal what all happened that day. I have wall calendars in my bedroom(2), kitchen(2) and John's room. I have two more that I have yet to hang. I plan to hang them down in the wreck room so I can enjoy them as I work down there. I love Americana Calendars like Charles Wysocki and those from Lang. I enjoy birds and art too. Calendars are an easy way to bring these into your daily viewing.

I have a Mary Engelbreit desk top calendar on my kitchen counter. The one with tear off pages. This calendar is fun because everyday I get a different picture and/or happy thought. When I get this calendar, I spend the first few minutes going through and looking at the pictures of several of the key dates in my life: March 10, April 7, April 8, April 14, May 1, May 13, May 17, May 22, June 11, June 30, July 8, August 16, August 21, Sept 20, Sept 22, Oct 7, Dec 10, Dec 19.

Those dates represent lots of birthdays of family members and some ebenezers. An Ebenezer is a "stone of help," or a reminder of God’s Real, Holy Presence and Divine aid. Spiritually and theologically speaking, an Ebenezer can be nearly anything that reminds us of God’s presence and help: the Bible, the Sacramental Elements, a cross, a picture, a fellow believer, a hymn – those things which serve as reminders of God’s love, God’s Real Presence, and God’s assistance are "Ebenezers."

Today is an ebenezer for me. I look back on this date and see how far God has brought me since 1996. 13 years ago today my sweet mama died. God has faithfully met me in my grief. Today I am rejoicing in all that my mama taught me. She had a love of reading, of art, of learning, and of laughter. She often said " Bloom where you are planted." and "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade".

I am blest to have had such a wonderful mama.

I think I shall celebrate by reading The Thread That Runs So True by Jesse Stuart. Mama loved Jesse Stuart. This is the book we are reading for our bookclub this month. I picked it so I'd have a good excuse to read it again.

Do you have ebenezer dates?

Addie Lou

Today my mama would be 83. I am celebrating by wearing her opal ring. We also plan to play cards today at lunch in her honor. I think it will be UNO.

What's in your wallet?

I used to have this in mine but was afraid I'd lose it so I have it in a safe place now.

My Mama loved the Indy 500. No, that is wrong, She LOVED it. She often told me that the year I was born AJ Foyt was a rookie. I can remember waking up on the last Monday in May to the sound of cars racing through my room, only to realize that Mama had every radio in the house on to the race, including the one next to my bed. (The race used to be run on Monday but they had several years where rain delayed it til Tuesday. Now it is run on Sunday and if there is a delay it can be run on Monday)

Mama loved this race and only this race. She didn't follow Indy races just this one.
When I was six, my family went to Indianapolis. I can still remember the speedway. I remember when I realized that we were going to take a lap. I was scared because I just knew it would be in a racecar. I was relieved when a VW bus pulled up. This card says " I hereby certify that the bearer of this ticket has completed one lap around the Indianapolis '500' Mile Speedway. signed by Tony HulmanI have the race on right now. I have it loud enough so that I can hear it where I'm sitting as I type. I don't keep up with Indy racing until this race is on. We have had the race on for all my children's lives so that it is normal to them to have it on today.

The winner of last years race is married to Ashley Judd- Dario Franchitti
The 2002/2003 winner won the Dancing with the Stars last year- Helio Castroneves. Please remember that the 'H' is silent when you are passing on this useful info.

What a fun memory of my mama!

A letter to my friend and sister-in law, Tina

Today is your first Mother's Day without your mama and I am praying for you to make it through the day. Tomorrow will be better.

Mama's are just special. And when you have one that is wonderful it makes it all the harder. And yours was a wonderful one. Mamas are our champions. They think we can do things when no one else does.

Time makes it different and more tolerable but not better. I have heard that losing a loved one can be likened to losing a limb. If you lost an arm, you would learn how to tie your shoes again or adjust to slip on shoes and learn how to do many things again but you would still miss your arm.

My friend, Hazel, heard me comment on how my mama loved birds. I spoke of the different birds, mama had introduced me to and how we loved to watch the birds outside her kitchen window. Hazel then said that she would take my pain of grief to know her mama as well as I knew mine. That really impacted me. Maybe it was better to have loved and lost, than never to have had a mama as wonderful as mine was even if the grief was so deep.

Today I had a good Mother's Day. I can remember my mother with much joy and we, as a family, can laugh about things we did with her.

You will have good Mother's Days too.

My heart is with you.

A sweet memory from my mama

The following is a poem I found among my mama's things. Kaitlin loves it and has it now on a canvas. I thought you would enjoy it. I don't know if it has a name or who wrote it.

It seems wherever I go, people come
Into my life or go out of it.
Touching me where I can feel them
Leaving me only a memory.
Like the gossamer fairytales of children,
Easily forgotten, and I wasn't through knowing them.

How do I know? Whom am I seeing for the last time?
How do you halt your lives and gather those around
you that you've ever known?
And how do you keep fairy tales from losing their
magic?

So come brush against the walls of my life.
And stay long enough for us to know each other.
Even thought we know I will want you back when you've
gone.
But come anyway
For fairy tales are the happiest stories we know.
And great books are made of little chapters.

October

I love October. I love the color orange and this month with the pumkins and fall leaves ( up north for now) I see lots of it.

October is the month of my precious mama's birthday. Since my mama died I celebrate her birthday by buying me something. This makes complete sense to me but not to Carl. It makes me not dread the day so much. Her birthday is easier as the years go by. This year her birhtday is on a Sunday and a busy one at that. Last night at church my dear friend, Renee, who I tried to take out on her birthday but it didn't happen, said, " Ellen, Let's go out Monday for lunch and celebrate Addie Lou" Even as I type this I am warmed inside. What a precious thought. I think this may be a start to a new tradition. Thanks Renee.

My Mama

My friend, Alyssa, has been helping me clean. The Physical Therapist told me that lunges, squats, stooping and bending over were not my friends. He said that I am to never to do a lunge or squat and to keep my stooping and bending to a minimum. So Alyssa helps me clean now. I might add that my house is cleaner than it has been in a long time. Yesterday we were working in the closet that we put things when we don't know where to put things. I found a letter that my mama had written me in 1986. I must include a paragraph.

After the Jo. Do.s left I went to the basement with my laundry and found a frog almost in the laundry alcove! I stared at the beast for quite a while in am effort to assimilate the information that some of my space was filled with an alien. At first I was nonplussed. How to get him out? It didn't seem reasonable to call John for a FROG. I was not a small frog but more a medium sized - an adult.

I came upstairs and got my strainer which put over him until I found a piece of cardboard to slide under the strainer between the frog and the floor. He really complained on his journey to the outdoors but when he realized he was back in his natural environment he happily hopped away. Whew.

100 degrees outside

I grew up in a home with no AC but I don't remember it being unbearably hot. I can hear my mama saying "Let's put this puzzle together and she would fix us all a cool drink" Sitting down together we would have a laughing good time and not feel the heat. The wonderful thing about no AC was The Attic Fan. I can still remember the anticipation of it finally getting cool enough in the afternoon/evening so we could turn it on. To turn it on meant going to the windows all over the house and shutting the ones not needed and leaving open only a few strategic ones. I can still hear the hum of the big fan and feel the cool breeze as it came in the windows.

I am sure I can write that with such fond memories because of the wonderful AC that is cooling my house even as I write.

Did you have AC growing up?