affirming, sharing and serving

Relationships have always fascinated me.

One of my goals for last year was so really ponder and study friends and why am I friends with some folks and not with others.  Here are a few of my thoughts on that subject.

Our small group at church is studying Gospel in Life by Tim Keller.  Our last lesson was on community and I sure learned lots.  Tim Keller gives 9 'community-building practices'
1-affirming one another's strengths, abilities, and gifts
2- affirming one another's equal importance in Christ
3-affirming one another through visible affection
4- sharing one another's space goods, and time
5- sharing one another's needs and problems
6- sharing one another's beliefs, thinking and spirituality
7-serving one another through accountability
8-serving one another through forgiveness and reconciliation
9-serving one another's interests rather than our own

I thought that was a great list of things to strive for but more than that a list to see who do I have community with and how can I strengthen it.

I like having lots of people in my community.  Some folks don't.

Another thought I had was that some people don't want to have community with me.  When that thought first tumbled around in my brain my feelings were hurt because I can list several folks but then it became a freeing thought.  Not that I plan to make a list of folks that I won't have anything to do with but to realize that my time may be best spent working with those that do want community with me.

I am blest with a church that sees the need for lots of opportunity for community.  We have table for 4- four women meet for 4 months for fellowship, table for 8- dinner fellowship for all ages once a month for 3 months, Bible Studies, serving with other another on service projects and out-reach projects plus Sunday School and church.

Look for your community!  How can you build it up?

Just a normal New Year's Eve! NOT

It all started with a really bad cold.  Kaitlin just didn't feel good.  It was New Year's Eve day.  So I went with her to the doctor.  She told the nurse all her symptoms, the last one being and 'my lower back hurts on the left side'.  The doctor wrote her a script for antibiotic because her right ear red, lymph nodes were swollen etc and then he said there is blood in your urine which is a sign for a kidney stone.  His recommendation was the ER.

Carl met us at the doctors office and we headed to the ER.

One of the hardest parts of being a mother is seeing your child in pain.  She couldn't keep still, the pain was so bad.

To keep her mind on other things we named things we were thankful for- that it wasn't snowing or icy, that Papa was home, that we had gas in the car, that we lived near an ER...

Shortly after we checked into a very full ER room and found our seats we were called to triage.  Kaitlin was wearing her new AUBURN hoodie.  The nurse in triage greeted us with a War Eagle.  He had graduated from AUBURN. What a cool gift that was!  I am sure he is nice to everyone but he treated Kaitlin with such kindness.

When it was Kaitlin's turn to be taken back to a bed the real 'fun' began.  Her bed was in the corner, in a tiny corner between to other beds that were separated by curtains.  Carl stood at the end of her bed and half of him was in next patients space!  I sat in the one chair.  When a nurse or doctor came in we all did our cirque de soli moves to accommodate each other.  We were thankful for the chair and that Kaitlin was in a bed.

When the nurse came in to put in the IV, poor ole Kaitlin was white as a sheet.  About half way through the procedure, she fainted.  When she woke up she knew she was going to throw up.  Get this picture in your mind- nurse is putting in the IV as Kaitlin melts back into the bed, Carl is helping keep her arm straight for the IV, I am trying to wake her up.  When she says she is going to throw up, I grab the trash can.  This all happens in maybe a minute.  After my success catch of the throw up and Carl's help with the IV, the nurse turns to me and says Thank you for catching that and for taking a shower today and to Carl she thanked for his help.  Let me just give a shout out to ER personnel - ours were wonderful!  Another gift!

Then we waited for the CT scan and listened to our neighbors- We couldn't help it. I felt sorry for them with all of Kaitlin's excitement.  One man kept pulling out his catheter and screaming.  Kaitlin said that that really helped take her mind off of her pain!!!!  Our other neighbor needed to get home to give his mother her nightly meds and when he realized that he might not make it home in time he called someone else.  Then he found out that that someone else had been 'drinking like a fish' all day long.    That also kept our mind off our situation as we heard about various family members and we were thankful for our boring family!.  We heard one family that was released to go home and had to find someone to come and get them- we were thankful for our car and that we could drive.  Times like these make me realize that not everyone is like me and has been able to make the choices like I have and I am very grateful!

The CT scan showed a 3 mm stone just about to passed.  The doctor said that at 5 mm they have to remove them surgically or break them up with lithotripsy.  We were thankful for the size of this one.

They sent us home with several scripts.  Our total visit was 4 hours.

We drove right to our pharmacy and got there 10 minutes before they closed for New Year's Eve!  What a gift!

Kaitlin passed the stone and captured it within a few hours of being home.  She was a able to get comfortable on the sofa in the den with a heated lap blanket.  She used it as a giant heating pad on her back and side- what a gift that we had this already here!

Ps 92 says It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; to declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by the night, 

We truly saw this in action.

2014 goals

One memory I have of my mother is that every December she made new goals for the next year.  I can't remember any of her goals but just the fact that she made them.

I like making lists so making goals for the New Year fits right in there!

I have read from several places on social media about picking a word for the year.  That was a new thought for me.  I went on a search for 'my' word for 2014.  I shared my thoughts with Kaitlin.  When she saw my list of potential words she recommended that I google them and look of synonyms too.  My word kept coming up.

My word is ........POWER

The verse that kept coming to mind was II Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

I wrote out my word several times.

I realized that many of my goals fit into the letters of my 2014 word!

P- pray for those that I love and that I will love them well,
    Project Life- my scrapbooking system,
    post more blogs

O- organize two rooms especially in my house- the wreck room and the snake room ( wreck room-because my cleaning style is to put everything in a bag and run it down to the wreck room so that we have the appearance of neatness but that room is always a wreck. Snake room is a storage room that is off of the wreck room, I saw a snake skin in that room shortly after we moved in and henceforth it is the snake room.  I only go in there during really chilly times in hopes that all the snakes are sleeping.  You should see the looks we get when a workman comes over and we refer to the room where the heater is as the snake room!)

W- write ( my mother was a prolific letter writer!  She would be 88 this year.  To honor her I plan to write 88 letters this year)
      handWork (I have a few projects that I have almost finished with)

E- exercise
     eat more vegetables
     encourage others

R- read  ( last year my goal was to read 80 books, someone told me that I couldn't do that so I changed my goal to 70.  I met that goal in October!  80 it was for 2013.  I am going for 85 in 2014 and I plan to read more deliberately. I am still working on that part but I am thinking about reading 20 books I own now, and have some breakdown for nonfiction, classics, about an area that I know nothing about, etc)

My other goal is to memorize more Scripture and I haven't yet figured out how to fit it into the letters above but I do realize that I will realize more of HIS power when I know HIS word more.

What are your goals?
If you figure out how to fit my goals to memorize scripture into my word let me know!

What is your word for 2014?

Great Bible Study plus great friends plus cherry life savers

I love the Women's Bible Study at my church.  I love the learning and the sharing and the encouragement  and the accountability and the vulnerability and those are just a few of the things I love!  This year in particular has been really rich.  The study has been spot on for me. One thing we differently was after we shared in our large group about the homework we did, we broke down into small groups to pray and OH. MY. WORD.   I have a particular rough spot in my life at this point in time and lo and behold a friend that God put in my small prayer group has that too!!!!  We prayed and cried and prayed some more.  Another lady in our small prayer group said that it made her more aware that that particular rough spot could even exist and she is taking measures in her life to smooth it out.

One of the last assignments of the book was to make a commitment to have a quiet time for 30 days.  I have a hit or miss quiet time.  My pledge to myself and God was to truly meditate on my verses for 2013.  I have 4 more verses to memorize chapter 8 of Romans.  I will put another plug in for the Scripture Typer.  It has helped me with my memorization tremendously!!  As I was reviewing my verses with Carl here are his observations on verses 33, 34, and 35-

verse 33-Who shall bring any charges against God's elect? It is God who justifies.
verse 34-Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died-more than that, who was raised-who is at the right of God,who- indeed is interceding for us.
verse 35-Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 

Carl shared that these verses are legal terms.  Who shall bring charges?  Who can condemn? Who shall send you away?  If you are a believer, no one!!!  What Good News that is!!!

As I memorize scripture, I picture in my mind a cherry life saver that I savor and prolong as I enjoy it.  I try to do the same with the verses that I am learning, letting them soak down into my brain and heart.  Let the above verse soak into your brain and heart for a minute.

  I am looking forward to all that I will learn in my 30 days of quiet times.  Stay tuned...

Our fall Bible Study book.  Highly recommend!

Let's all SERVE

As I pondered how to serve Christ this Christmas season and think less about self I read this great article.  This is now a goal of mine!

Last week I was well-served by an outstanding medical team. Over a dozen people at the Billings Clinic pooled their training and talents to repair a small hernia in my abdomen. From beginning to end, they cared for me with the utmost in professional skill and personal attention. As a result, I’m mending quickly, with no infection, little residual pain, and an even greater respect for the men and women who serve in our medical community. As Corlette drove me to the hospital at 5:30 am, I prayed that the Lord would not only make the surgery successful but also give me grace to bless the people who would soon be caring for me. In particular, I asked him to enable me to live out the SERVE principle with each person I encountered that day. Smile Explore and empathize (show interest and compassion) Reconcile Value (express appreciation and admiration) Encourage (put wind under their wings) From the receptionist to the surgeon, I made it a point to greet each member of the team with a big smile and a cheerful “Good morning!” Everyone smiled warmly in return. Sometimes I had time to add, “Thank you for getting up so early today to take care of me,” which usually triggered  a chuckle and opened the way for conversation. Exploring people’s lives takes so little effort and yet it’s so rewarding. “How long have you worked at the Clinic?” “What do you like most about your job?” “How many patients do you serve in a day?” “Why did you choose to be a surgical nurse?” “How do you feel after a successful operation?” “How can I make your job easier today?” It’s amazing how much you can learn about people by showing just a little interest in their lives. I love to tease, so when the technicians and nurses asked their long lists of standard questions, I looked for opportunities to catch them off guard. “Have you had anything to drink this morning?” “No, but someone promised me a coffee IV.” “Have you had any problems with choking lately?” “No, I haven’t done anything to provoke my wife that badly for months.” Medical workers have trained long and hard for their careers, so they appreciate it when someone values their expertise. Whenever time permitted I asked members of the team to explain various processes and equipment. They seemed to genuinely enjoy sharing their knowledge, which gave me more opportunities to learn about their work and express admiration for what they do. Of course there is no substitute for saying thank you over and over again. To the aide who wheeled me from room to room. To the nurse who inserted an IV so painlessly. To the anesthesiologist who explained every step in my sedation. To the surgeon who opened and closed me so flawlessly. And, most of all, to my lovely wife, who was watching over me throughout the process and has thoroughly pampered me ever since. All of these people served me with exceptional care, and I’m glad God gave me the opportunity to encourage them just a little bit in return. You can do the same with the many people you encounter during the holidays. Whether you’re visiting your doctor or enjoying a family dinner, a company party, or a shopping trip to the mall, you can personally and warmly engage every person you meet. Memorize the SERVE acrostic. It’s so simple. And just before you walk through the door to any engagement, pray, “God help me to serve every person I meet, to show a genuine interest in their lives, to value who they are and what they do, and to be used by you to encourage them in a way that puts wind under their wings.” - Ken Sande Reflection Questions: Who is one of the most encouraging persons you know? What is it that makes him or her so pleasant to be around? What qualities can you imitate to encourage the people you meet in the days ahead? Why are many people in need of special encouragement during the holidays? How could God use you to bless them? How can you turn a casual conversation into an opportunity to talk about the real meaning of Christmas? Memorize the SERVE principle and practice it in every social setting. You'll be surprised how quickly it becomes a relationship-building habit. Let's all SERVE!!

What to do with that pain and hurt?

One of my New Year's goals for 2013 was to do research on relationships.  I have been blind sided and left battered and bruised emotionally by some of mine.  And I don't like that!

My first response was to run and hide but I read this quote-

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Now I was in a quandary because I didn't want to end up like that but I sure didn't like the pain.

Then I saw this.. "Do you know what hurts so very much?  It's love.  Love is the strongest force in the world and when it is blocked that means pain.  There are two things we can do when this happens.  We can kill that love so that it stops hurting.  But then of course part of us dies too.  Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel"-  Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

And this... "If our love depends on how the other person loves us, then we have a business deal, not love"- Paul Miller

My friend, Liz, quoted one of my favorite books- I don't remember which one and neither does she- "Don't let your hopes become your expectations."

Relationships are something bigger  is an article by Paul David Tripp.  Please read the whole article.  

Here is one paragraph-  

What's the point of the story? It surely isn't meant to highlight my character! I struggled to do what was right every day of those seemingly unending months. No, what the story points out is that in the messiness of our relationships, there's always something bigger going on. Our relationships are never just about us. They're never just about our plans, our purposes, and our happiness. They're never just about who we want to be around and what we'd like to offer or receive from those relationships. There’s always something bigger going on because there's a God who is sovereign. He puts us right where he wants us and he never gets a wrong address! In our relationships he takes us where we don't want to go in order to produce in us and others what we couldn't achieve on our own.

I realized that I serve a God that is bigger than my hurt.  That was so freeing.  

Now one of my goals for 2014 is to envelope myself in the love of God. I plan to memorize John 17 and Ephesians 3.  I plan to take my hurt to the cross and know that my story is being written by the Author of Life.  He is in charge of my storyline and in the end, I win!!!  I'll be with Him!

Camp Gpapa, Bubbles and Fairest

Last Friday I dropped John and Marisa off at the airport for their trip to St Louis.  It was Marisa's first flight.  The landings weren't her favorite but she enjoyed the flights overall.

That was also the first day of Camp GBF- Gpapa, Bubbles and Fairest.  We were honored to have the privilege to take care of Mr Wonderful!!  We all had a blast.  He is 19 months old which is a fun, fun age.  He loves outdoors.  We tried to get out for several hours every day.

He loved having Fairest play cars with him.

More outside time.  This time we have Gpapa.  Mr W loved the sound of the rake on the driveway.  He would laugh out loud. Here he has a digger that he would try to capture a leaf on and move to a different location.

Gel gems were a great invention.  He spend lots of time at this window getting the perfect arrangement.

Reading was high on his list of activities.  He is a vehicle man.  He has several books with lot of pictures of all kinds of vehicles.  He loves to stand by you as you read to him.

Peppa the Pig is my new love.  If you don't know who Peppa the Pig (snort) is please go to youtube now and watch a clip.  I spoke with a British accent for many hours.

Mr W loves to eat.  What a great gift that was.

Gpapa had meetings pop up on Monday so he couldn't stay the whole day with us but he came home between them.  Below W is telling you that Gpapa is putting on his shoes so they can go to the park.

There go two of my favorite fellows.  W is talking the whole time.

Often he wanted me to sit in his room while he played.  This is one of his favorite toys.

John and Marisa were gone for 4 days.  At the end of the 4 days my bed was so welcoming.

How quickly do you forget all the tricks you learn as a mama?!?  How did I ever get anything done??  I forgot how dry your hands get from washing them so often.  I forgot how sweet and special is a warm baby straight from the bed.  I was thankful for the time that I could sit during naps.  Whoever coined the term 'babysitting' was not talking about any children I know!!!!

If you are a young mother and a friend of mine, I have prayed for your strength.  I forgot how exhausting this job is.    Please know the days are long but the years are so short.  Don't give up because sooner than you think, you may have the joy of taking care of your grandchild.  What a treat!  What a slice of heaven!  Thank you John and Marisa!