One of my New Year's goals for 2013 was to do research on relationships. I have been blind sided and left battered and bruised emotionally by some of mine. And I don't like that!
My first response was to run and hide but I read this quote-
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Now I was in a quandary because I didn't want to end up like that but I sure didn't like the pain.
Then I saw this.. "Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel"- Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place
And this... "If our love depends on how the other person loves us, then we have a business deal, not love"- Paul Miller
My friend, Liz, quoted one of my favorite books- I don't remember which one and neither does she- "Don't let your hopes become your expectations."
Relationships are something bigger is an article by Paul David Tripp. Please read the whole article.
Here is one paragraph-
What's the point of the story? It surely isn't meant to highlight my character! I struggled to do what was right every day of those seemingly unending months. No, what the story points out is that in the messiness of our relationships, there's always something bigger going on. Our relationships are never just about us. They're never just about our plans, our purposes, and our happiness. They're never just about who we want to be around and what we'd like to offer or receive from those relationships. There’s always something bigger going on because there's a God who is sovereign. He puts us right where he wants us and he never gets a wrong address! In our relationships he takes us where we don't want to go in order to produce in us and others what we couldn't achieve on our own.
I realized that I serve a God that is bigger than my hurt. That was so freeing.
Now one of my goals for 2014 is to envelope myself in the love of God. I plan to memorize John 17 and Ephesians 3. I plan to take my hurt to the cross and know that my story is being written by the Author of Life. He is in charge of my storyline and in the end, I win!!! I'll be with Him!