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Friday, November 1, 2013

Far More Abundantly

Ephesians 3:20-21 says Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

When Carl and I got married I dreamed of what our children would be like and of course how many.  In my mind since I was one of 5 and Carl was one of 6, I thought we would have about that many.  That was my plan.
Andrew's delivery was a nightmare.  I told Carl that this was it!!! No more children for us!
But God had other plans and He put the desire in my heart for more children and we had Kaitlin and John.  After I had John my OB strongly suggested that we have no more children.  He said that I had so much internal damage that I might not make it through another delivery and that my children needed a mother more than a brother or a sister.
Devastation was what I felt.
This was not my plan.
Carl would find me rocking John and crying.  Sweet Carl would ask what is wrong and I would say that I want a baby and he would gently say that you have a new baby and I would cry and say but I want another baby.  I have read that no matter how many children you have when you have the desire for another and that desire is not fulfilled there is a deep hurt.
The last firsts were hard but through God I was at peace.
The hardest age with John was age 5 because that is how old Andrew was when John was born and that was truly a door shutting to me.
My favorite age with my children is teenager to adult.  I loved my babies and I think yours are darling but I am not a random baby holder/cooer/kissthem/etc.
Someone recently asked how Carl and I came to open our home to young adults and I honestly don't know but if finally dawned on me that God is giving me all those children that I wanted and He is giving them to me as adults- the very age that I dearly love.
I was blown away when I realized this. Like fall on my face, with tears in my eyes and a heart so overwhelmed blown away.  He is fulfilling my desire in a way Far More Abundantly than I could even imagine.
Below is my latest child.  I don't know what number she is.  She is pictured with my 2nd child, Kaitlin.
Her name is Beth.
Her boyfriend is Robert.
Robert's sister is Marisa who is married to my 3rd child, John. So we are somewhat related!
Beth is in PT school and she is doing her different rotations now so some weeks she has class and some weeks she is with a PT.  After her last rotation ended she needed a spot for a few weeks and she picked our house.
We are so glad.
She fits right in here.
We may not let her go!
God, You are so awesome!!!!

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